


What are you talking about? Of course Supernatural got a satisfying ending.

by JoltikBlue



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, I was actually a fan of Supernatural... Once, Spoilers, all relationships are implied just like the actual ending, lets pour one out for the fans that kept watching all 15 seasons, oof
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:28:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27654821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoltikBlue/pseuds/JoltikBlue
Summary: I haven't watched Supernatural for two years now.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 4





	What are you talking about? Of course Supernatural got a satisfying ending.

Dean did a backflip over Rusty, the rusty nail, as it tried to stab him in the back (lol imagine if he had been killed by a nail, glad that’ll never happen that’s so dumb).

“And I would’ve killed you too, if it wasn’t for your meddling sick hunter skills!” Rusty cried, dissolving into rusty, tetanus-filled dust.

“Wow, Dean! That almost stabbed you!” Sam shot the emo vampire clown in the face. “That would’ve been a real bummer since Cas literally died for you two days ago.”

Dean nodded. “Damn right. Some kind of poetic bullshit about me dying doing what I loved or something. As if our character development hasn’t moved past that point by now.” He shot a smile at the remaining clown, and it burst into fangirl love hearts and died on the spot. “Plus, I know a way to get Cas back from Super Mega Turbo Hell!”

“Wait, really?” Sam turned and kissed an unnamed blond woman who had walked in. Then she died. “Ohhhh, yeah! We found out a way to get Cas back with the plot device the writers set up seasons ago, since they had a great ending planned for the hit show ‘Supernatural’!”

Dean smirked, gun in one hand, pie in the other, drinking beer. “Yeah, and you were super important in helping as well, because you are smart and resourceful, and your character wasn’t watered down over several years.”

“But Dean! You need to get Cas back by not repressing your feelings! How will you do that?” Sam flicked his super-soft, shiny, glossy locks of long hair like he was Prince Charming from Shrek 2.

Dean pouted, looking like he was constipated. “Well, you see, Sammy. I can still repress my feelings, since I’m not Gay tm anyway. I’m the manliest man I know.”

“You can still be manly and Gaytm.” Sam pointed out, although it was hard to move in his layers and layers and layers and layers and layers of plaid shirts. “The problem with you is that you never really showed you were Gay tm till the last two seasons of the show, because the writers had run out of ideas and needed to queerbait some sweet, sweet Destiel.”

“It’s even debatable if my character is even Gay tm now!” Dean whistled for Baby, and the 1967 Chevy Impala flew into the barn on angelic wings (because it is a good, heterosexual car that can go to heaven). “Because men can make Gay tm jokes and show affection to one another without being Gay tm.”

“The problem is that the fans were insistent that they were being queerbaited for 13 seasons of the show.” Sam replied, trying to get into the car but he was too tall so he had to strap himself to the roof. “So they sent the actors and the writers of the show uncomfortable gay fanfictions and shitty drawings and constantly brought it up on the panels, till the writers said ‘fuck it’ and tried to convince Jensen Ackles to kiss another dude despite it not being in his contract.”

“Probably.” Dean growled, voice low, gravelly, smooth like salted caramel mixed with hazelnuts, contrasting his honeysuckle green eyes that glittered. Then he started to drive, because drinking and driving is cool.

“And then-” Sam continued, because he’s a smarty pants. “They put Jared Padalecki in the corner because he didn’t even want to be on the show anymore, because it should’ve ended on Season 5.”

“Ok, but let’s forget all that, because that implies that the fans deserved this.” Dean arrived at their destination – a nostalgic place that I can’t be bothered to write about. “The writers are big boys now and can write an ending regardless of the pressure.”

“Can they?” Sam the Moose got down from the car and drew a magic circle with his hoof. “Because by now all the interesting characters have been killed off for drama and cheap emotions, so the ending will be toned down regardless.”

The boys stood back, the magic plot device finally working. They leant on the Impala and shared another beer. Then Dean died from alcohol poisoning and liver failure, but he came back to life. Sam died for another reason, but he too came back for no reason.

“Well, it’s fine, because with Cas back, we will continue hunting and bring the show back to its roots and make an interesting arc to finish the show on.” Dean answered.

“Ok, that sounds good.” Sam smiled. “Hey, this fanfic is coming to an end, I sure hope that Cas reappears in the last second and gets a speaking part and we get closure on whether he is in Mega Hell or not.”

“Of course not, Sammy. He’s Gay. Gay Angels don’t get proper endings.”

**Author's Note:**

> In all seriousness, I actually did once enjoy Supernatural, and I think Seasons 1-5 were amazing, so maybe now i'll go back and rewatch those seasons and write more Supernatural fanfics that actually give the show a good ending.
> 
> And I dunno, I feel bad for the fans that wanted this show to have a good ending and kept with it since 2005.


End file.
